Finished listening?

Precisely!

Ernie said “I think we should examine the passageway, but I’m stuck!” Ernie had sat down right on some extremely sticky glue and, no matter how hard he tried, could not stand up. Like any good friend in this situation–ahem, Burt, you could take a lesson from her– Ells resisted the temptation to point and laugh at someone in an embarrassing predicament and set to work trying to pull him off the couch.

It turns out that this glue proved to be a particularly tough customer, but finally, with one herculean heave from Ells, the couch released its hold on Ernie. Suddenly freed, the pair of investigators went tumbling end over end and managed to tumble right through the open passage into the darkness. I imagine they turned the end of their roll into a graceful dismount, or maybe covered up the fall with an impromptu dance move, but I’m not sure, the author didn’t say. Which makes sense; it was dark after all.

When Ells got out the small flashlight she had found and illuminated their surroundings, she saw that their unconventional method of travel (a.k.a. falling) had left them in the middle of a tunnel. When Ernie asked why Ells wasn’t using her cellphone as a flashlight, Ells reminded Ernie that he stepped on her phone when running away from a bee last week and that she’s been having to use her old phone. And Ernie said, “Oh yeah, I remember that. That was one mad bee.” And then Ells said, “And one mad Ells.” And then Ernie said, “But your old phone is so cool and retro.” And then Ells said, “I’ll show you retro.” And then Ernie said, “I’m not sure what that means.” And then Ells said, “Yeah, me neither.” And then they began investigating the door. Anyway, I’ll add a reference material for what the book described Ells’ phone as looking like. It was pretty retro.

The pair made their way through the tunnel, walking mostly and crawling when necessary, until they arrived at a large metal door. The door was locked, as mysterious doors often are, but was illuminated by a small light attached to the door. They could make out a paragraph of text engraved into the metal. Ells and Ernie had no idea what the text meant, but they came up with many interesting theories about how to open the door. I’ll save you the time and let you know that none of them worked. They spend quite a bit of time here, but when it dawned on them that they were still standing in the middle of a creepy tunnel, they agreed that clever investigators would look for more clues– and possibly some snacks– in other areas of the manor.

Their search took them to a garden where they met an enthusiastic gardener, Willard Potter, who seemed eager to share his life story. “My father taught me to garden,” he said, “and with his dying breath, he told me, he said ‘You be the best gardener there ever was. Go out and lift people up every day.’” The tears in the gardener’s eyes were inspirational and Ells and Ernie asked if they could help Willard with his planting. He was grateful for the help and showed them how best to plant Brussels sprout seeds.

After leaving Willard, the duo continued around the manor to the pool. Ells paused to dip her feet in the pool, but quickly exited, pronouncing it “refreshingly clue-free, but physically not very refreshing at all.” Together, they agreed that while there was a time and place for clues, that it was currently a time for sandwiches, and so they re-entered the manor.

After a quick bite to eat and a small argument about whether a hot dog is a sandwich or not, Ells and Ernie started to venture through the halls. Being rather unfamiliar with this particular spooky manor, Ells and Ernie got turned around. The only person they saw as they meandered was the bellhop whom they had seen earlier. He was delivering a large blue suitcase into one of the rooms on the second floor. They stopped to ask him for directions, but he gruffly told them he couldn’t help them and hurried away. Ells and Ernie eventually ended up at a grand antique-looking elevator. I’ve always found that an elevator is a great place to puzzle out some clues, and I’m glad to see one getting the respect it deserves. The woman operating the elevator smiled and asked “Where would you like to go?” Ells’ eyes went faraway and the silence was just about to move from awkward to uncomfortable when her entire face lit up. “This way!” she yelled to Ernie and yanked him back towards the front door.

Seconds later, the duo was running through the door and back to the garden where they found Willard was still there. After a reasonable amount of panting, Ells caught her breath. She paused another moment to establish the proper amount of gravitas, then she pointed directly at the gardener and asserted “You’re not a gardener! You’re–”

Obviously Ells could finish that sentence with any number of thoughts. After all, being not a gardener hardly precludes one from being defined by other characteristics. As such, I think it pertinent to pause here and allow you to discover exactly what Ells had in mind. Press the continue button and when you know the end of her sentence, enter it into the box. I can hardly wait to discuss how nothing is as it seems. Hurry, before I let slip any spoilers!